


Help can come from where you least expect it

by kireiflora



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 11:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kireiflora/pseuds/kireiflora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama has an issue that he doesn't know how to deal with.</p><p>(aka Kageyama has sensory overload)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Help can come from where you least expect it

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea and I needed to get it out so I did.

Kageyama didn’t know how to explain what happened to him sometimes.

It’s just, sometimes, it all got to be too much.

He couldn’t even pick out what was too much, all he knew was that it made his skin crawl and his insides churn and he needed to get back to his room or some other ‘safe place’ as he thought of them in his mind.

He didn’t even know what caused them, they would happen in the middle of anything, he never saw them coming, fine one second freaking out the next.

It wasn’t much of an issue in his everyday life, he was usually left on his own anyway, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to want to go off on his own anyway, and they weren’t that common. So he managed to hide his...whatever from his parents and his teams easily. He knew he was lucky it hadn’t yet struck during a tournament, as he didn’t know what he would do if it did, try to ignore it?

But that brought him to today.

In the middle of practice.

Where he was beginning to feel the walls pressing in on him, the voices and sounds of volleyball weighing down on him like a physical sensation, his nerves on edge and his brain screaming at him to get out, out out out out out out outoutoutoutOUT _ OUT _ !

It was similar, but completely different from the weight that had built during middle school, the weight behind ‘king’ but the reminder only fueled his need to get out, he needed to get to a safe place. He neede-

“Kageyama!” 

_ Out _

He snapped back to himself at the sound of Daichi’s voice, nerves still frayed but the screaming was more of a quiet chant in the back of his mind, his eyes shot to his captain, who was looking at him with a worried frown.

“Are you okay?”

_ Get out _

“F-fine.” he forced himself to focus, the game had continued but he hadn’t. “Just zoned out for a moment.” he added, as explanation without looking directly at him.

Daichi’s expression said clearly, that he didn’t fully believe him but he let it go with another worried look. 

_ Out out out _

He shook his head slightly, turning his focus directly to the game. This was good practice for if it happened at a tournament. He just had to ignore it.

_ Outoutout _

The ball was served and he waited for the incoming spike, distracted by the building weight of  _ noise _ as the game resumed.

_ Get out get out outoutoutout _

His timing was off but he was there to block it out alongside Tsukishima.

_ OUT OUT OUT _

It was directed directly to Noya, who set it up easily for Suga. It needed to hit the ground, the sounds needed to  _ stop _ .

_ OUTOUTOUT _

A spike from Tanaka on the other side, Tsukishima beat him there and he jumped a moment after him.

_ OUT OUT OUT OUTOUTOUTOUTOUTOUT GET OUT _

The ball slammed down just to the side of Tanaka, he breathed a sigh of relief that had nothing to do with the point. His nerves were completely shot, there was no way he was going to be able to keep this up, not with his mind screaming at him to get out of there already but he had to, he had to ignore it and push it away and just fucking manage to play volleyball. He couldn’t let this affect him.

He blinked and realized there was a ball being handed to him because, oh no was it really his serve? Daichi looked even more worried about him, he’d clearly zoned out again.

_ Get out get out get out get out GET OUT _

He had to focus, he couldn’t let his game be ruined by this...panic. Serve the ball, get the point, the gym was dead silent and he just wanted to enjoy the silence but it was ruined by the whistle, a sign to hurry up already. His approach was off and the ball wobbled, coming down on the other side but clearly in an unintended manner.

_ OUT GET OUT OUT OUT OUT _

The building pressure in his chest made him want to cry, his hands fisted at his sides.

“Kageyama, what’s wrong?” Daichi was standing in front of him, in the blessed silence.

“Nothing.” he ground out past the lump in his throat that he hoped wasn’t audible. 

“Kageyama…” he frowned at him but sighed, “Let’s take a break.” he called and the team quickly dispersed.

_ Out out out out out out out out out  _

He couldn’t just walk out of the gym, they’d really think there was something wrong with him, so he sat down next to the door and rested his head on his knees, trying to just breath and block out all the noises, trying to cover his ears without it being obvious. It was louder than when they’d been playing, now everyone was chattering and Tanaka and Noya were being loud and it was all too much. It was so much worse.

What was  _ wrong  _ with him?

He just wanted to jump out and run out those doors, run until he couldn’t anymore, run and find some place that was quiet and away from the city. He just needed quiet and he’d be fine but there wasn’t any quiet to be found around here. He felt nauseous. 

He heard rustling in bags from the other side of the court, quite clearly, like every other sound in the stupid echoing gym. Why couldn’t they all just stop, just sit down and  _ stop _ making so much noise? Why couldn’t he just move past this? Why here? Why now? Kitagawa had had more kids and more noise but it’d never happened there, no, it had to happen here, where people actually possibly liked him. Was it just going to get more frequent the older he got? Would he even be able to pla-

His thoughts stuttered to a stop when something was placed over his head and then adjusted over his ears when his shoulders dropped. He sat romrod still, unsure what on earth was going on. The sounds of the gym were slightly muted, and there was a small hush that went around when they took notice of...something going on.

He jerked in surprise at a sudden piano song playing, and the volume quickly went down in a possible response. After a moment, he picked his head up off his knees to see Tsukishima crouched in front of him, with his phone out and a cord sticking out the top, to the headphones that were surely on his head. He was sure his eyes were wider than Hinata’s and Tsukishima held the phone out to him, silently showing him the volume control before hesitantly handing it over with an air of distrust.

He stared at him with wide eyes for a bit longer, not moving his hands from the volume control before he sat back against the wall, turning the volume up and up and up, until he couldn’t hear himself think over the sound of the music. It was nice piano music, and he could feel the tension leaving him bit by bit, adjusting the volume and nothing else. He didn’t know why Tsukishima had done this or how he knew it might help but he had and it was so he wasn’t going to do anything that would prompt him to take it away. Time lost its meaning as he just sat there and let the piano music play in his ears and wipe out the screaming of his mind telling him to get out. It wasn’t as nice as a quiet house, but it was so much better than the gym.

He knew he was over it and should probably take the headphones off and thank Tsukishima when he started rocking slightly to the music, but he just wanted to pretend he wouldn’t have to explain himself for a little longer thank you very much. Just one more song… he insisted, just one more. 

He stifled a sigh as he finally pulled the headphones off his head, handing them and the phone back to Tsukishima who had settled nearby, clearly not trusting him to not break his stuff. He took them back with a nod before glaring at something behind him, he resisted the urge to twist and see.

“Thanks.” he muttered softly, half hoping he wouldn’t hear him.

“Ki-Kageyama,” he started, looking reluctant. “Anytime.” he managed before he got to his feet, crossing the gym to his bag.

Yamaguchi shot him a quick thumbs up before crossing the gym towards his friend.

The rest of the team was milling about or doing bits of individual training, and he wished the ground would swallow him up when he realized he’d completely derailed their practice with his freak out. If this became more common he should probably just quit the team, he couldn’t waste their time like this again. He sighed and climbed to his feet, ignoring the ball of anxiety that was hovering in his chest, he’d better get this over with.

“Kageyama! Doing better?” Sugwara asked, coming up beside him suddenly.

He nodded mutely, unable to find his voice and apologise quite yet.

“I’m glad to hear that.” he smiled at him

True to character, Hinata was by his side moments later, chattering on about anything and everything. Except what had just happened. He looked at him in the corner of his eye, where were all the questions? There was no way he was going to just get away with that, it just wasn’t going to happen.

But as the gym returned to normal practice, it seemed like he was in fact going to get away with it, and some of his anxiety released. Were they really not going to ask him about that? It wasn’t like he’d be able to give them a good excuse anyway but...were they really going to ignore it?

It seemed so.

\-----

“Kageyama.” 

He turned to look at Yamaguchi, who was fiddling with his bag. 

“C-can I have a word?” 

He nodded mutely and followed him some distance from the team.

“I u-uh I just…I just wanted to say, i-if it happens again you can tell me or Tsukki.” he struggled to look at him at first but was able to drag his gaze to his face and hold it there, “B-because things just got really loud and uh-overwhelming right?” 

“Yeah.” he forced through his suddenly dry throat, he knew someone would have to bring it up and he wasn’t wrong.

“It uh-it doesn’t really happen to me but I figured out how to help Tsukki deal with it, and he picked up on the signs and decided to help you.” he rushed the explanation out. “And-uh, that’s all I wanted to say.” he trailed off uncertainly.

Kageyama struggled for a response. “Thank you for the offer.” he finally got out and winced internally, why was he so bad at this? “I really appreciated the help.” 

They stood there in awkward silence.

“I’m here if you need to talk.” Yamaguchi said before quickly turning and leaving, trying to finish the awkward conversation.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based entirely off my own experiences, I strongly believe its an issue Tsukishima has and I thought it might be one Kageyama could have as well, and even if he doesn't like him Tsukishima wouldn't leave him to suffer like that.
> 
> Is this thing really nearly 2K lol


End file.
